


match made in WOW (Xiumin/Luhan)

by Rei_Rei (anti60ne)



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Fluff and Crack, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-09-09
Updated: 2013-09-09
Packaged: 2017-12-26 02:28:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,717
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/960508
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/anti60ne/pseuds/Rei_Rei





	match made in WOW (Xiumin/Luhan)

**pairing:** Xiumin/Luhan ft. Suho/Chen (but not really)  
 **genre:** crack, fluff  
 **rating:** PG-13  
 **word count:** 1651  
 **prompt:** worst first dates  
*Laura-betaed.  


 

"Remind me why I'm meeting this guy again?"

Jongdae rolls his eyes as he swivels the steering wheel, making a right turn. It's the fifth time that Minseok asks the same question within the past hour, his feigned mental incapacity comparable to a relentless child badgering his parents with infinite _are-we-there-yet_ 's.

"Because you are single and miserable and I'm sick and tired of your whining," Jongdae retorts and adds in his head, _and I'd rather shoot myself in the knee cap than walking in on you jacking off again._ The memory makes him shudder, and Jongdae is more than convinced that Minseok is ready (physically, at least) to embark on a relationship (of some sorts) with an actual human being.

"Hey! I'm already deeply committed to Jill*!"

"Oops. Did I say that out loud," Jongdae shrugs unapologetically. Minseok side-eyes him.

"But think about it. Boning someone in your head is at best borderline satisfying, and you end up with a dirty sock that you really need to fucking wash separately before I stuff it right back into your mouth."

Minseok mock-gasps, a hand clutching his chest. Jongdae ignores him and decides his attention is better allocated to a tree off the sidewalk.

Jongdae parks a few cars away from the cafe where Minseok is supposed to be meeting his blind date, who is Junmyeon's friend from high school.

When Junmyeon unexpectedly volunteered to set Minseok up, Jongdae is half-groveling in gratitude and half-squinting in skepticism; Junmyeon is an all-around thoughtful guy, but it is also highly possible that he was simply done with the grating complaints he has had to endure from Jongdae on a bi-daily basis. Jongdae couldn't have been more pleased with the arrangement, while Minseok has been secretly sulking from the start. Nevertheless, Minseok caved to the suggestion ("What do you have to lose, anyway? Besides your virg--OWW get your fucking hand off my ear"), 70% because he trusts Junmyeon's judgment, 20% because Jongdae is being an annoying little fucker, and 10% because he really _is_ single and miserable (though he would never admit that, not outside of his blog).

"This is where you unbuckle your seatbelt and get out of my car," Jongdae narrows his eyes at a motionless Minseok glued to the passenger's seat.

"Just. Give me a minute."

"I do not have a minute to give, Minseok," Jongdae feigns exasperation. "I'm supposed to meet Junmyeon hyung in like five minutes."

He doesn't. Jongdae just wants to scoot Minseok along so he can monitor the date with a pair of binoculars.

Minseok purses his lips in a straight line, positively unwilling to move an inch, his hand clutching his seatbelt as if in the face of an impending car crash.

In one way or another, a car crash is probably the most appropriate metaphor for describing his fright at the moment.

"Seriously, dude, you're gonna be la--"

A figure crossing the street catches Jongdae's attention. His eyes widen in a surprise that is quickly replaced by a mischievous glint.

"Minseok, look," Jongdae juts out his chin in the general direction of the traffic light several feet away. "Your date is over there."

Minseok gapes, his eyes darting around and for a moment, he looks like an extremely confused bunny caught at the crossroad of fright or flight.

"What?! Where? No, wait, don't tell me. I don't want to know," he ducks down and shoves his head between his knees. Jongdae snorts.

From the start, Minseok has vehemently refused to find out what his date looks like. Jongdae and Junmyeon offered to show his pictures on Facebook and were promptly shot down. _"I want my first impression to be in person,"_ he claimed (but everyone knew that he just didn't want to freak out if the guy turned out to be a total hottie and he would be robbed of sleep due to anxiety the night before, which still happened regardless).

Minseok is a total wreck.

"Uhm..." Minseok begins, and Jongdae catches an underlying whimper and gloats silently. "I don't think this is such a good idea." Minseok twists around and grips Jongdae's arm, his eyes pleading. "Can we just go home? Please?"

"Absolutely..." Jongdae looks at him deadpanned. "Not."

Minseok crumples into incoherent sounds of desperation.

Jongdae stifles a cackle and settles on a solution. He sticks his head out the window and calls.

"Hey! Luhan!"

Minseok makes a noise that ranges between a human gasp and a chicken getting its head chopped off.

"You. Did. Not," he whines before trying to lodge himself under the glove compartment. He fails spectacularly.

Luhan, who has just crossed the street and heading to the cafe, whips around. He recognizes Jongdae and breaks into a smile, waving. Jongdae gestures for him to come forth before slithering back into the car.

Minseok begins to recite prayers to various gods in his head.

"Hey, what are you doing here?" Luhan flashes Jongdae a curious grin as he approaches the driver's side. Minseok freezes upon hearing the unfamiliar voice. He turns toward the window on the passenger's side as far as his neck would allow, propping his left hand on his thigh and beneath his head.

"Just dropping off a friend," Jongdae glances over his shoulder, lips upturned into a smirk. "For his date."

Minseok grimaces, worrying his lips furiously as he pretends he didn't hear Jongdae. He begins to fantasize about being teleported back into his room when Luhan speaks.

"Oh! Is that Minseok?"

Jongdae secretly applauds Luhan for being so bright and nods furiously, while Minseok experiences a minor cardiac arrest.

Luhan bends down and perches a hand on the top of the car. He looks in.

"Uh, hi. I'm Luhan."

There goes that mental car crash that Minseok was anticipating. He scrunches up his face in utmost reluctance before taking a deep breath, then turns around with self-perceived spasms that he hopes are overlooked.

"Uhm, hello."

If not for being utterly stunned, Minseok would have noticed how Jongdae struggled to breathe while keeping a straight face. The first thought that pops into his head is whether he's looking at a girl, followed by a squeal that would have been an eternal joke if voiced when Luhan attempts an awkward smile that appears to be perfectly adorable to Minseok, and then finally, an _"oh my god he is beautiful why am I even alive"_ before his mind checks out and drool threatens to gather at the corner of his mouth.

He dies a little inside. Then _a little_ quickly grows to _a shit-ton_. Minseok tries very hard not to sigh and melt into a puddle of feelings that are otherwise named something like instant attraction.

He jumps when his phone rings, blasting the obnoxious tune of a track from the WOW OST. Minseok swears under his breath as he frantically searches for his phone, patting himself down all around as if his phone has chosen to attach to his back. Head cocked to the side, Luhan watches in increasing amusement.

After what seems like an eternity (of damnation as Minseok would later refer to this moment), Minseok spots his phone lounging in the groove on the side of the door. He snatches it and jabs the reject button before immediately regretting hanging up on his mom.

"Sorry about that," Minseok offers apologetically.

"Don't worry about it," Luhan beams, and Minseok feels an urge that fluctuates between throwing himself out of the car and pouncing on Luhan. "I like your ringtone."

Minseok widens his eyes in surprise, his cheeks flushed.

"Oh yeah!" Jongdae, who has thoroughly enjoyed watching the scene play out before him and wished he had popcorn to go with it, pipes up. "Luhan plays WOW, too." The self-proclaimed matchmaker wiggles his eyebrows at Minseok, who looks furtively between Jongdae and Luhan. Minseok realizes, belatedly, that Luhan has entered the car and settled in the backseat at some point during his discombobulated state.

"You do?" His voice comes out a lot more squeaky than he would like, but Minseok is too distracted by the discovery of a common interest with Luhan.

"Minseok's an addict, by the way," Jongdae continues, evidently assuming the role of a spokesperson for both.

"Oh really?" Luhan shifts forward, eyes brightening in excitement, and Minseok's breath hitches in his chest. "Maybe I've seen you around. What's your username?"

Minseok, still recovering from near mental meltdown, simply blinks, and Jongdae decides to answer on his behalf.

"Mandu0326."

Luhan stares. Minseok isn't sure if this is a good thing or a bad thing.

"You're Mandu?"

"Y-you know me?" Minseok finally manages a whisper.

"Uh, yeah," Luhan frowns and averts his gaze, scooting back into the seat. "Everybody does. You're the dude that humped Jaina that one time."

Minseok's heart stops. He screams.

"KIM JONGDAE I WILL END YOU"

Jongdae pulls Luhan to shield himself from an enraged Minseok springing toward the backseat, his hands maniacally clawing at the culprit (who has possibly just uprooted his newly bloomed love life).

"Whoa, whoa, okay, calm down," Luhan is more than bewildered and a little frightened but attempts to intervene, anyway. He grabs Minseok's flailing forearms and nudges him back down into the passenger's seat.

"Luhan, I swear to god that wasn't me," Minseok protests, hands clutching Luhan's as if begging for his (love) life. "It was that penisface that logged in with my username and did... that.. thing," he finishes in a small voice and glares past Luhan's shoulders. His face drops into a stupor.

Jongdae has vanished.

Minseok fumes and vows to throw all of Jongdae's manga collection into a bin and set it on fire.

"Alright, I believe you."

"Really?" Minseok's eyes light up.

"Mhmm," Luhan sits back and crosses his arms, an unreadable smile playing at his lips. "But _penisface_? Really?"

Minseok kind of wishes he had just manned up and walked into the cafe instead.

 

 

*Jill Valentine from the Resident Evil series.   


 

A/N: i'm not a gamer and i know next to nothing about RPGs so i don't even know if shacking some other character is possible in WOW, but i'm envisioning it like SIMS, ykwim.    



End file.
